keranzi

journal entry


Dec. 22nd 2009

Dear Heavenly Father,

I really want to go to BYU. I just feel like this is a good move for me. Your help would be greatly appreciated if at all possible, but if you think I should go somewhere else or be somewhere else please let me know. i love you! 

Sincerely,

Keris

my college career thus far has been anything but normal. i graduated from high school in 2004, but i didn't start college until winter 2005 at Brigham Young University-Idaho. I did three semesters there and in the fall of 2006 i studied abroad in Vienna, Austria. Winter 2007 I did one more semester at BYU-Idaho before I left for an 18 month LDS mission in June 2007. i served in the Frankfurt Germany Mission. [are you keeping track ... that's 5 semesters so far.] a few months after returning home i went back to BYU-Idaho for only six weeks, it was about the same time that i realized i needed a change ...

On my mission i learned a lot about prayer, i learned a lot about my relationship with my Father in Heaven and how he directs me through the spirit, but most of my prayers, most of the direction i received, were for those i served and not specifically for me. although i had 18 months experience working with the Spirit i had a hard time figuring out what exactly it was directing me to do with my life. 


After only six weeks back at BYU-I, i decided to move to Provo, Utah. I became a visiting student at BYU, i had limited opportunity and could only study here that summer. [don't confuse it with BYU-Idaho ... two different schools.] i applied to become a full-time student in Provo. i'm not even going to try to explain the atmosphere in Provo or at this University, i will just say it was an adjustment. but despite how weird i felt ... i felt like this is exactly where i belonged. For the first time since my mission i felt like i knew what Heavenly Father wanted for me and i felt like he wanted me to be here. 


BYU-Idaho and BYU provo are sister schools. They are both founded, supported, and guided by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You would think transferring from one to the other would be easy, but it's not. At least for me it wasn't. Last April I posted the following about my experience transfering:


"BYU was never in my plans. I've never dreamed about coming here. To be honest, I've never really cared about it, but I will tell you if the Lord wants something to happen; it will happen.You know in the scriptures all the stories about prophets who are commanded to do things that seem crazy and everyone thinks they're insane, but they try anyway despite the fact that everyone around them is pointing and laughing saying ... "fat chance"? That's what I felt like applying to BYU. It was like parting a sea. Impossible, if I wanted to do it alone. But "with God nothing shall be impossible"(Luke 1:37.) With a less than good enough G.P.A and about five billion credits, all odds were against me as well as the admissions committee and the whole world,it felt like. After eight months of meetings, letters, phone calls, emails, prayers, tears, fasting and TWO rejection letters. I have FINALLY been accepted to Brigham Young University."

i truly believe that me getting into BYU was nothing short of a miracle. 

as mentioned before i was denied twice by BYU admissions. it wasn't until i went through the German department that i was granted acceptance. if i agreed to study abroad in Berlin through BYU and conduct research for a Professor they were going to let me in! You're going to let me in if i go back to Germany? ... I cant do that!! This past summer i spent 2.5 months in Berlin and received 12 credits towards my major. [German Teaching]

i just finished my first week on the actual campus. i'd be lying if i didn't say it was a little overwhelming. [or a lot overwhelming.] all these classes and homework and reading ... it's really taking a toll on my attention deficit mind. not to mention the fact that it's been three years since i've been a real live full-time student. but - i think i'm going to like it here. and let's be honest i did sort of beg to get into this school. 

by the time i finish it will be 2012. [let's see if i can last that long without going back to Europe] i'm not really concerned with time through. i'm just grateful to be here.

'the Lord is anxiously waiting to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams. But he can't if you don't pray, he can't if you don't dream ... in short he can't if you don't believe.' -Jeffery R. Holland