keranzi

so i've been studying patience the past few days and i rediscovered this awesome talk given by president Uchtdorf. it's called continue in patience i love the title. i love the talk. and you can read it here. WAIT! when you are done come back to my blog because i have more to tell you. or just read my post now and then read the talk, but whatever you do read. that. talk.


for the first time, in a long time, i am excited about something. what am i saying? i get excited about microwave popcorn - but the something i am excited about is way bigger and way better than orville redenbachers. i'm actually really excited about school. *GASP* i know, right?


remember when i posted this quote: "When we listen [to our 'inner-voice'] primarily for what we 'ought' to be doing with our lives, we may find ourselves hounded by external expectations that can distort our identity and integrity. There is much that I ought to be doing by some abstract moral calculus. But is it my vocation? Am I gifted and called to do it? Is this particular ought a place of intersection between my inner self and the outer world, or is it someone else's image of how my life should look."


you probably don't remember, but that's fine. ironically i read it in a book about teaching. i say 'ironically' because this quote is the reason why i decided teaching is not my vocation. i remember the day i figured that out. i had a meltdown because the culture that surrounds me has planted this idea in my head that at 24 years old i should have my life figured out and not knowing what i want to study was evidence that i didn't. and i hated that. my 'inner voice' was practically screaming that german teaching was not for me, but if wasn't that, then what was?


frankly i don't remember how i came to this conclusion but i have recently changed my major to: communication disorders. which of course leads to grad school because i need a masters to pursue my ultimate goal of becoming a speech pathologist. 


i can't describe it, but something inside of me is awake! i look back on 2010 and it's definitely been a windy road, but it has gotten me to where i need to be, happy.